What children think separating parents should know

The predominant view of children from separated families is as vulnerable victims. It is often believed that decisions about children's welfare and best interests should solely be made by adults. The present paper demonstrates that children are social actors in their changing families, who have their own views and some useful advice to give to separating parents. One hundred and seven children between seven and nineteen years of age were interviewed about what advice they would give parents who were separating. The advice was coded into the following categories:Consulting with Children, Parental Relationships, Suggestions about Arrangements, Not Separating, Considering children, the Well-Being of Children and Keeping Children Informed. The strongest theme to emerge was that parents should keep children informed, listen to them, respect their views, and take their views into account in decision-making. The study suggested that if children are involved in decisions which affect them, they will be more likely to adjust to their post-separation families. Psychologists and other professionals working with children and families can encourage families (and the court) to allow children's voices to be heard.